she fell down the flight of stairs and was fine until she saw the two broken beer bottles on the ground by her.
thats a woman
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
I like your house better though. Cause it has febreeze and lube.
I don't think you have any idea how kinky that sounds.
Today was my first day of hebrew and I learned how to say give me sex... I think I can quit now
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
He booked us a hotel at a resort in cancun for sprng break... I just wanted to get laid this weekend when i was blackout i didnt know it was gonna spiral into a mess of events like a 5 month in advance commitment
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
Dear me: Drinking & crying tonight, my place, 9pm sharp. Love, your life
he brought with him gifts of cookie dough and penis. upgrading our relationship from fwb's to bf/gf was an incredibly smart merger.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Note to self: NEVER have sex with anyone who is experiencing explosive diarrhea.
I've never been so happy to be celibate.
Randomize
