Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
dude facebook disabled my account because im registered under a false identity. now in order to get it back, i have to prove that it's really my name. i sent them an email and had to sign it "Cordially, Lloyd Pancakes"
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
nothing says happy birthday like half a tampon wrapped in someone else's hair on your shoulder.
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
Can't show you right now as we are in public and he refuses to let me photograph his penis in a bar.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
I take it we used my cleavage as a pen holder last night during the graffiti party. Looks like the colours of Crayola exploded all over my chest
sex in a tree stand. check.
you lucky bastard
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
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