I just woke up in bed next to my teacher. Does that mean I'm passing now?
I seem to have left my pride at pride
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
She makes me want to have breakfast margaritas every day
Tried to eat a chip. Mouth wouldn't cooperate. Nearly died. Wow I've missed this.
totally worth getting kicked out for trying to throw my drink on lindsay lohans ankle bracelet.
He threw up the X he took like 30min before then when we thought his antics were over... BOOM! He tried to pee out a light he was holding.
I bought emergency contraception until I / we decide how to handle that. And target gave me a gift receipt for it. Awkward.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
I FLASHED A GUY AT MCDONALDS FOR A FREE BREAKFAST BURRITO. IT WORKED!
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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