great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
pretty sure mid blowjob I told him I needed to call you and ask you if this was whore-ish. He hid my phone from me.
You dont remember anything at all? So you dont remember the shop down my road with the 'TO LET' sign over it? You were adamant that the 'I' had fallen off and that it used to say TOILET...so you took a shit right there in the doorway.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
Regret, thy taste is box wine.
You know we have no secrets, right? I mean, you saw me shitting in a gift bag drunk and naked on Christmas eve.
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
