Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
you broke into my aparment at three in the morning wearing long johns and offered me beer.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
I have no idea. But that is beside the point bc in vegas I'm a pro vball player from Ireland and a veterinarian on the weekends
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
I normally need adult supervision or a babysitter, but I refuse to let someone keep me from making irresponsible and wrong decisions at the bar on my last bday ill ever have in texas
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
Randomize
