Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
Do you ever think that bumblebee is the gay transformer?
Every day of my life.
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She's more than welcome to come too, so long as she has gotten over that me being responsible for the death of her cat thing.
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
He must have sensed I was about to trade him in...he's really stepped up his sex game
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
if it makes you feel any better you looked really comfortable while you were sleepin in the closet, atleast according to the pictures i woke up with on my phone
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