So drunk i had to piss sitting down...
her fupa was seducing me. this is the last time i'm doing shrooms.
Just gave my little brother the collection of clothes that boys have left in my room since I've been in college for his birthday.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
Thank god i puked near the cancer center. makes me look like a chemo patient
He came out in cowboy boots and underpants holding a beer while he hugged my mom. I love Montana.
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Well, I have a text in my phone that just says "Scrumtrelescent" from a girl I have in here as "Cheesy Tits", so you figure out how my night was going.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
its the 14th virginity that counts the most anayways
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I swear my vagina needs to be taken away from me when I drink.
Randomize
