i cant believe jose lima did steroids
apparently the kind that make you shitty at baseball
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
you fucked my boyfriend. margarita girls night will not fix this.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently he crashed because 3 different girls were trying to give him road head at the same time.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
you took a potato out of your pocket and just started eating it raw. don't know where the potato came from though
21st birthday = success
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
Apparently I showed all your grooms men my vagina to prove I did not have underwear on. Awesome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
I feel like the first time i have to use my accident insurance its going to be in some sex mishap with you.
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
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