I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
She went from zero to smokin in five shots
honey bunches of taint.
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
Congrats to the girl that left her positive preggo test in the bathroom...
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
he pulled a $400 bottle of champagne out of the back part of his toiled and I was ready to blow him then and there
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
THIS CHICK IS LIKE SOME SORT OF HOOKER HOUDINI.
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I need a life alert for his random dick pics. My heart can't handle that.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
The closest thing I've had to an orgasm lately is sneezing nonstop from fucking allergies.
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