I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
Blacked out, Had to be carried out of the bar again by two large black bouncers. Asked them to be my "boo thangz" Again.
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
Every girl my sister has brought home from college I've had sex with, check and mate motherfucker
Walk of shame dressed as a Christmas tree, it happened. Ho ho ho bitches
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
I just found your ripped underwear on my chandelier. Care to explain?
You know i love you, but i just cannot fuck you until your eyebrow grows back. It's too hard not to laugh.
My mom just asked if I've gotten any girls pregnant how is your day going
He looks like a Mormon from a lifetime movie. Oddly I wanna give him a hand job
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
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