I just woke up in my car with half the wedding cake next to me. This will not end well.
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
She called me in the morning crying, but I was busy cleaning up bird guts, very hungover. It was a very surreal morning.
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
I yield to the immortal wisdom of one ludacris, who famously wrote, "can't turn a hoe in to a housewife." Indeed, ludacris, indeed.
I still have the video of you three making soup in my kitchen and asking random people for permission DURING the party, not after like usually
Don't remember, didn't happen
I HAVE THE VIDEO YOU DICK IT HAPPENED
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
he is sitting in the driveway by himself laughing at nothing, idk what to do
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
Slowly dying because of my period and my phone is mocking me because I have 69% battery
Randomize
