i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
im pretty sure all they do is fuck. and talk in baby talk. its two babys fucking basically.
I woke up this morning peeing out bubbles . I smell like baby wash . What the hell happened .
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
I woke up with my face covered in mustard. Your mom said I ate hotdogs like a pornstar
He asked me who my new boyfriend was and I showed him a picture of my sex toys.
All im saying is that my face might fall off.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why does my car smell like burnt toast?
I take it you don't remember trying to make grilled cheese with your cigarette lighter...
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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