Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
I just walked by that girl who tried to commit suicide over me in high school. That was weird.
I just got asked if I have a rule for sleeping with people. Like they have to buy me dinner first etc...
On that note, do I have a rule?
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
I expect to be treated like a lady. Even If your sticking it in my ass.
The calves of my jeans are covered in jello shots from Sunday, how desperate do I have to be before I start licking them?
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
He ripped off my pantyhose and all I could think was, "oh no those were clinic-appropriate!" That's what I get for ditching a continuing education meeting to go hook up with my scuba instructor.
The bartender seems to not like the DD's anymore. I'm sad
Thanks. It's every girl's dream, right? To blow a bald marketing consultant 12 years her senior?
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Let's just say I peed the bed last night, and I wasn't in it alone. Whoooops
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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