He looks too sensitive, like he's going to write me a poem and cry after the first time we have sex.
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yea dude. I'm gonna be the life of the party. THIS BITCH GETS DRUNK BY HERSELF
For every drunk face picture you send me, I'm gonna send a wholesome family photo.
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
If you're ever desperate for a guy's #, ask him to call your lost cell phone so you can find it. Some genius used that on me last night. FML
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Their children would look like the Michelin man and smell like chef Boyardee
She's throwing a party for a guy that just got out of rehab?
We left an ass print on the conference room table, but I don’t think anyone caught on
How many weight watcher activity points do you think sex is worth?
Randomize