I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
alright she left, finally time to fart up the room
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
Ok Ghana you win again. Tell you what...Double or nothing over women's tennis, basketball, hockey, war, baseball, golf, swimming, diving, oil spills, box office proceeds, internet porn sites, criminals incarcerated, women's downhill, bass fishing, NASCAR, or GDP?
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
1. Sorry about making it snow. 2. If it left a mess, I will be over to clean it. 3. Can that fire extinguisher still be used? If not, I'll buy a new one. 4. I just wanted to make it snow!
You just squeezed a person out of you and I'm drunks at 2PM. Our lives got traded and you know it and you're jealous.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
I feel like the fact that I slept with someone who dresses up like Batman a few times will never be lived down.
Did I come home in a police car last night? id come downstairs to ask you but i dont think my legs work anymore
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
can you bring the lube to algebra tomorrow
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Randomize
