I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Tell her to not eat the pizza she threw up on.
Apparently I added "small children" to my likes on facebook. glad to know that's where my subconscious is at.
Sometimes I worry for your future but then I remember how big your boobs are.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I went from a chick that didn't like to have sex to one that can't get enough of it. I can't believe I'm going to say this but at 27 I think I need a happy medium
Do you think we're allowed to sign male strippers into the building with a valid id?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
I woke up with a hangover and a man bun. Reached over to drink water and accidentally chugged raspberry vodka. So there's that.
Are you drunk texting me again or are you just being your regular stupid self?
yes
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.
I swear I'm going to walk in one day with you in a ballgag just masturbating feverishly
Well i can't stand the sound of my own crying
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Randomize
