I'll bet she douches with gravy.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
How much explanation does bbqsexapalooza need?
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
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the last thing i remember saying is "hope you like body hair"
It's just one of those days where I'm too horny to function, to be perfectly honest.
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
If you've ever wondered what a shitshow is, just watch me at the bar on a Friday. Or Tuesday. Take your pick.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
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I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
I told my manager I was trying to conserve my energy for date night/Sexual Olympics later. That's legit for another break, right?
And then I realized my chick friends consist only of sober you, drunk you and hungover you
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
At this point, I would not mind getting hit by a truck. It would mean I could get this over with quicker.
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