my mom just found my bong and asked what it was. I told her it was a hookah
and she bought it?!?
yeah...but her friends at work told her hookah was fun and now she wants to smoke it with me...im thinkin yes
I found a girl on our couch wearing lederhosen this mornig... I dont know if i should be impressed or ashamed
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
not exactly restoring sanity, but he is throwing up on the national mall right now
i slept with him so i could steal the screens out of his sink faucets for my bowl when he went to sleep. not because he's funny.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
Boobs are out for the taking
Does your body have a liquid mass index? does that make sense? I think I drank it in Long islands.. Kill me now..
I started screaming "MY PARENTS ARE MORMON" at a stranger and promptly proceeded to run into a wall. How do you think it went?
I'm seriously considering starting a savings account so I'll have bail money this summer.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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