that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
everytime someone would look at you, you started to try and deep throat your beer bottle.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
its been so long even thinking about having a dick inside me makes me sore
also bought condoms to give away to people who look like they're about to make a bad halloween decision. I'm like a fairy.
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
I've got a whole match.com system. Triple book. First dates always get the 6pm happy hour drinks slot. 8pm dinner goes to a girl where I think I can close the deal. 10pm slot goes to the sure thing in case of emergency, but 6 can always trump 8 and 8 always trumps 10. Just blame it on a dead iPhone battery.
That, my friend, is how I bang 50 new girls a year. Not luck at all. It's science and statistics.
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
The dysfunction is strong in this one.
Hey before you quit, let me sell drugs to your boss at least one more time
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
Randomize
