3 deer just ran past us on the street. At least I get to see some tail tonight
In a bar in glasgow talking to a 12 year old about life. Welcome to Kentucky.
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
I just want to hug my vagina but I can't!\nLike, I want to wrap my arms around it and say "I'm sorry"
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
The only thing he had going for him was mad fingering skills. the ONLY thing. crayons have a wider circumference.
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
there is another microwave in the elevator.
Randomize
