Hot guy, man whore rep, huge crush, alcohol that will fuck you up. I fail to see how this could go wrong
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
Mom wants to know why I'm bringing a blender back to college.... didn't have the heart to tell her she's paying a $20,000 tuition for us to make margaritas and sleep through class
making an appointment with student health services to check out my pinkeye on 4/20. they are going to thing this is such a joke
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
Everytime I walk into a bathroom at school that I've taken a pregnancy test in I get a little bit nostalgic....
a kid who worked there came up to me and let me know you were sitting in the bathroom sink. he said it was fine, so i just kept checking on you.
Now one day I will be able to tell my children how a drag queen in a gay bar told mommy that bin laden was dead
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
The drunk fake out is her specialty. She'll agree to come with us and two seconds later we check to make sure she's still there and we see her booking it down the hall in the opposite direction.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
You don't know the capacity of my vagina
people need to understand when I say I don't want to drink anymore that doesn't mean tempt me with another bottle of Jose Cuervo.
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