his Mom's staying with him so he asked if I'd go over and fuck in his shed. he said "it's a really nice shed"
Even though he is humpbacked he is really good in bed.
just got booed by the entire restaurant.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
You guys don't happened to be dressed as gladiators, do you?
despite the cops showing up at 8am, pre gaming groundhog day was my idea yet. and by pre gaming, i of course mean getting black out drunk by 7:30am
How did you get a free t-shirt at the strip club?
I was attacked by whores
You threw up on yourself again didn't you?
They were strong whores
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
Maybe we could get a groupon for vasectomy. I'm game.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Like who needs a job and family when you can get drunk for free with strippers?
he rolled over in the morning and told me happy valentines day. i don't even know his first name.
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
He bought me pizza and bourbon and played scrabble with me. So naturally I slept with him.
Randomize
