I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Writing a book: The Evolution of the Douche Bag: From Popped Collars to Ed Hardy Shirts. Doing research now.
Make sure you include chapters on white sunglasses, spray tans, and toxic amounts of hair gel.
I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
please remember that your boobs are bigger than your sisters. when you borrow her shirts they stretch and then shes left flapping in the breeze. dont borrow her clothes anymore. love dad.
boyfriend # 1 is in the bathroom and boyfriend # 2 is ringing the doorbell need back up this is not a drill i repeat this is not a drill
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
I like how the only thing you spelled correctly is "i'm tequila"
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
I would watch the shit out of some full house right now.
A little light bondage fun never hurt anybody (erotic asphyxiation excluded). Car batteries attached to reproductive organs have.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
im watching blue is the warmest color at the music box and this dude is literally masturbating 3 feet in front of me
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
Randomize
