You just made me feel so damn special
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
YOU GOT EVICTED FROM A TRAILER PARK!?!? WTF!!!!!
She told me she cured her bulemia by popping hydrocodone after she ate. that way she would be rewarded for not puking. I like the way she thinks
i just had to wipe vomit off my fone to text you. yeah that hungover.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
we just finished a porn and sex toy shopping spree. this is the fun part of "being serious"
Was I really yelling "girls night" at random chicks before stealing and drinking all their shots?
This is how my night is going so far. The bartender bought our last two rounds and I'm chasing a bee around the bar with a foam bat.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
Have you ever had to act sober and talk to an authority figure in a coconut bra? Because it is just as degrading as you would imagine.
I got with him in my watermelon costume so ya you owe me $1
There's no triumph quite like finally banging your high school boyfriend 6 years later
Attention, i sprayed windex on me to disguise the scent of sex and regret off my clothes from last night
i woke up half naked on someone's pool lounge chair in a house that i don't know, with someone's phone number scrawled on my stomach. why do i hang out with you again??
You just listed two reasons.
Randomize
