i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I made her cum... she sounded like Ray Romano
Who would win... a chainsaw pooping pterodactyl or a bear with machine guns for feet. big debate about this right now
she's sitting alone using her breathalyzer as a kazoo. help.
You rang?
Saw a ginger and the first thing I thought of doing was yelling "you have no soul!" so I called you so we can yell it together with you on speakerphone.
It's times like this I miss having my nipples pinched
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
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