One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
You nicknamed her "lazy eye" and were screaming across the bar at her to buy you a drink...
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
Has now officially visited every ER in this city in one semester.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
We got drunk and crashed a fifty year old woman's birthday party for the food. Whoops.
Although now I have "number of cheese slices" as a unit of boob measurement in my head.
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
Can't talk, ducks in the car
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
