ok, im coming! i just found some lemon square in my bangs, washing that out..this shit is all over me! was i in a pie eating contest?
yes
did i win? did you like my outfit? or should i change, if you were horny would you bang me?
She's like a pop up book from hell.
it was like brushing your tongue but with a fucking long toothbrush.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
Sadness tears and throw up everywhere
My dad caught me fucking in the pool last night. He proceeded to tell me I needed to "quiet things down" while this guys dick was still in me. Worst daughter ever.
We got to the party at eleven, and the host was already in the hospital from being stabbed. And she brought the stabber home with us when we left.
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
I just got offered free tattoos if I smuggle some guns from OKC to Dallas for a guy in the hells angels
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
