i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Doing lines of cocaine in the bathroom and the word 'better' do not belong in the same sentence.
We sang "Whole New World" in harmony and he spun me around. You may now barf from the cuteness.
It's all good. The CSI guy came and I played the theme song while he in was in our place. The cops even laughed.
hes duct taped to the wall and we're throwing eggs at him. i love thirsty thursday.
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
You rolled onto your side and told me 'this is the recovery position'. That was after you were stoned. You've done this way too much.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
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