I got my half for the rent already.I called the cops on the drug dealer neighbor and got a 500 bucks as a reward
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
She said pants are for pussies while spooning peanut butter onto her frosted flakes with a serving spoon. She's not even high yet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up and there was pizza slices on the fucking walls of my room
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
2:34, make a wish! I wish I wasn't on acid at Planned Parenthood. What's yours?
The internet was right. Snorting muscle relaxers is awful
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
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