i'm chasing tequila w mint flavored ice cream, phil's chasing it w cream cheese, bashar's chasing it w pickles...i think we all know who the winner is....
Banjos are just sex machines. Like lights to moths, banjos are to hipster bitches.
I answered the my mom's phone call about what we're doing for father's day while he was still fucking me. She thought I seemed really excited about his hiking boots present.
My sink just fell out of the wall. I can't deal with this right now
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
Everything is fine now . The coast guard said we just can't take the inflatable trampling out past the break way anymore
There are some sad choices of men in the ER. That one was missing teeth. Not the place to find a husband.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I saw the attitude and didn't even try. Line of the night from one guy who talked with them for a while said, "I don't meet you standards. I have a job and would treat you well." She was blank faced.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
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