I could make wine with my vomit
How do you get a cum stain out of a trampoline?
What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
Thanks for holding onto me so I didn't fall in my pee in that parking lot. You're the best boyfriend ever.
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
she's a kindergarten teacher now. The teacher desks are the perfect height for fucking. I'm delaying the break up a few weeks.
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
You talked about giving to sperm banks on a first date. What did you expect?
Why do i feel like Captain Hook just gave me a pap smear?
That is NOT what pussyfooting around means. Try that again with your toe and I break it off.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Amazon.com "suggested" I buy both nipple clamps and opera gloves.
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
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