I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Walked into this guys room, saw a tickle me elmo under his desk with white stains in its mouth. This is awkward.
I feel like if I were on Intervention, I would have to be a season finale.
They're having chugging contests. With juice. Please get me out of Utah.
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
stumble upon led me to how to make wine in prison, followed by wedding dresses. it knows my life too well
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I feel I should make it clear.....I'm not stalking you, I'm stalking ur dick. You don't even need to talk when you get here. At 4am I think we'd both prefer that anyway.
i mean let's face it...the pregnant girl was really slowing us down.
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
There is blood on the door to my room, I have to go to sleep
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
Randomize
