that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Apparently I look legit enough, cause the 3 bums next to me just got kicked awake by cops, and I was allowed to stay sitting here. That's a plus, right?
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
i miss our vodka / percocet laundry days.
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
I'm surprised I don't have a permanent face imprint between my boobs.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
I'm not gonna lie, but for some reason I have this strong desire to watch porn with my pint of haagen das.
Randomize
