my grandma just told me that size does matter, and don't let anyone tell you anything different.
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Tried to steal a keytar from my hook up's house.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I peed my pants walking home last night... I just kept walking.
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
SOMETIMES YOU HAVE TO BLAST VANESSA CARLTON IN YOUR CAR AT MIDNIGHT TO FEEL AGAIN. IDK.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Randomize
