there is a puppy in the bar... no really i didnt steal this one
i hate when i ask a girl what she's being for halloween and the first word isn't "slutty"
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
it's like a replay of two fridays ago...except not in a motel and i'm not having sex in the shower.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Lots of rum and cokes. Bartender wore my underwear on his head. Lost my keys. Accidentily started a fight. DC is going to kill me
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
Ok well hopefully you're not staging an intervention for me at your place because I'm bringing beers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
I never thought I would have to put a band-aid on my penis.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
I never knew it was coming. He was cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, cute and nerdy, and then BAM! Best hookup ever.
I might be a bit late, couldn't find my pants and had to go to the police station. Unrelated
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