well recently, every guy I have hooked up with has been economy sized
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
When I don't want to forget things I put them on my cigs.
C smoking isn't all bad
We jumped on a random trolley because total strangers offered us free vodka. We're not even on the route map as far as I can tell. I see now how those people died in "Hostel"... we deserve whatever happens to us tonight.
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
I woke up to a quacking alarm clock and a rando in my bed. I told him I liked his cargo shorts. Fireball is not my soulmate anymore.
are you just sitting in your hotel room drinking popsicle vodka?
.....well anything sounds bad when you say it like THAT
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Well, I crapped my pants in front of her entire family, was laughed out of their house, and I had to walk home with shit stained pants. So, yeah, it went really well.
Literally I can feel my heart beat in my vagina because of how sore I am
ayo
its like you know when i get waxed
I think I'm so comfortable in my sexual relationship because he mostly wants to see me naked with large plates of bacon tastefully placed upon my body
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Randomize
