You took shots of captn out of a empty percocet bottle, i just saw you fall threw the floor of rock bottom.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
She had a boyfriend but was all over this drunk guy that she just met..she said she loved him and then puked all over him.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
yeah, she started doing yoga and cocaine....looks good on her.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I may or may not vaguely recall punching you in the dick but it was a misunderstanding and I forgive you can we have make up sex?
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
I WANT BLOOD. HERS. I WILL DYE A FABULOUS PAIR OF SUEDE PUMPS RED WITH HER BLOOD.
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
Randomize
