East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
a fat lady just tried to bring a cooler stuffed full with burger kid through airport security. christ I'm going to miss the midwest.
It took us hanging out like four times to kiss. Id like to fuck you before I'm 30
maybe next time you shouldn't be drinking alone watching intervention at 3 am and no one would think you needed an intervention.
Burnt myself on soup.. consencus go back to hospl. they will lov me. twins in one nigh. still hve band on. fuck
So would it be tacky to offer my services as a future attorney as an engagement gift for her?
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
We christened the whole apartment and fucked on the balcony. It was amazing. I'm 100% sure downtown heard me climax. Now we can unpack.
Just walked in and got handed a drink. Good service
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Vodka Red Bull is like your spinach if you were Popeye
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
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