She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
Either he masturbated at the end of the bed or she gave him a bj. Either way my bed was shaking and I was uninvolved.
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
You fucked everything up-can't pass a cleared kitchen table without getting hard
It was the textbook our-balls-touched-while-engaged-in-a-threesome-with-our-bosses-wife conversation.
It amazes and alarms me I'm not shocked to read that.
They need to leave so I can start drinking shamefully.
My parents don't seem to understand that all I want to do over break is smoke in bed and watch Workaholics.
I'm currently in h&m wondering "what exactly is the class level of a swingers resort?"
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
I cant miss out on a half day of work without a booty call
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
It’s official. I’ve hooked up with all three brothers now
You should go after Dad now
I should! He’s definitely middle age fuckable
Randomize
