Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
I put cups full of chips next to every bed, couch, and toilet so that everyone could have a snack when they woke up....
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
I seriously want to say to him "Do you know how many blow jobs you could have gotten this summer?"
Like he held up the condom afterwards, twirled it with his finger, and said "look at that load"
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
Fun fact. I just wrapped myself in wrapping paper for a sext. Is this a new high or a new low stay tuned.
A young (I'm going to guess late middle school age) kid shouted at me from the crosswalk GAS PUMP OF SHAME! I have peaked in life.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
You bet your firm but soft ass I miss you
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