I just had a cup of orange juice and thought it didnt taste right. It didnt have vodka in it.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
There are huge fuckin pieces of palm tree in the road. what a road hazard. as i sit here and text you as i swerve to miss them
Do you know many girls there are in gay bars waiting for me to do coke off their tits? A lot.
After 12 shots he decided to show us knife tricks. You can figure out how it ended
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
Dear slutty diary: I lied about feeling guilty of being a homewrecker in order to have more sex. it worked.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I didn't want to but I was drunk in a Disney bathroom with her and had a weak moment.
The fact that he quoted freebird as his breakup speech was a little more classy than expected
Then he asked if he could pee on me and things really went downhill
Two of my dealers just made friends at this party. Do you think one will be pissed if I buy from the other or should I just go 50/50?
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
IT'S MY BIRTHDAY. I SHOULDN'T HAVE TO DRIVE 3 HOURS FOR BIRTHDAY SEX.
Randomize
