there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
Being a slut is okay if you're being a polite slut, right?
I'm not sober enough to be having a conversation about a rap she wrote in Spanish about public safety
I have vodka an food stamps. At some point today, that will undoubtedly turn into jello shots.
noooo, I woke up on his pack porch and the SUN WAS RISING. I saw red lights everywhere and heard sirens so I just ran for my life.
he tried breathing fire using moonshine and a roman candle. would not have believed it unless i actually witnessed it.
I fell asleep after the worst sex of my life and now I'm snowed in with him. SEND HELP. CALL FEMA. GET ME OUT OF HERE.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
So I sniffed too hard this morning before work and I THINK THE COCAINE JUST STARTED ROUND 2.
I called him the wrong name all night, yet I still got a ride home from the party and hooked up with the guy. I'm irresistible.
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
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