Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?
so this chick screams out the name doug is bed..not to later do i find out doug is her vibrator
hello competition
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
Guess I'll put him on my to-do list too. But closer to the bottom since we dated before. That's almost unethical.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
This is why I only drink in places with a C or D health rating
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
My breath smells like dick and biscuits..
Randomize
