I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
My mom was talking about how protein is essential to strong bones and then I told her, I'll give you protein.
How unfortunate for your Mom.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
God. I'm so broke I don't even have a dollar to snort my adderall through.
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Some kid just stopped wherever he was walking, turned to me, and gave me a slow clap. So I'm pretty sure my walk of shame beats yours.
Alive.
So much puke
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
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