So I got my period. Finally. In related news, I reinstated my belief in God.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
I guess calling a coworker a lesbian sea cow is some kind of violation.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
I puked in the revolving door and had to sit down on the escalator. That hungover. It's safe to say people are judging me.
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
Randomize
