I will come over but only if I don't have to take my sunglasses off for it
Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
drug dealer added me on facebook, win ?
omg no way im finding him!
he has no pics of his face, and im always drunk so i cant remember if hes cute or not, but he told me im in his phone as "party girl" which is fitting i guess cause im dragging my hungover ass to buy preggo tests, and i had to get the cheap ones cause i blew all my cash on coke.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
The toilet started ringing, I think I just found your phone.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Super awkward when the coworker you made out with in exchange for molly last weekend keeps coming over to your cube and trying to talk to you
I fucking hate tequila. Tequila makes me hate pants.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
you don't understand it took me an hour and a half to escape that bed, I had to memorize his sleeping patterns.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
Jesus fuck that was emotional whiplash
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