I hate ducks.
What?
they're sketch. like squirrels. squirrels are sketch as fuck.
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
Sex tip #67: Jizz in the eye is very near the equivalent to pepper spray. Not recommended for pleasure enhancement.
whiskey dick. though we did manage to break my closet door and flood the bathroom.
My lab manual has instructions for making home wine. Room project?
I never thought I would say this but I have to clean queso off my vibrator
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Twas the night before the bachelor party, and all thru the house...not a creature was stirring, not even a stripper?...
I flashed a party boat full of Asians yesterday, didn't I?
Bad Decision October is in full swing. I was telling people that "I put on eye makeup today, I'm takin' a dude home with me!".
"YOU ALWAYS BEEN A HOE YOU ALWAYS GONE BE A HOE. THAT'S JUST THE WAY IT'S GONE BE." overheard at temple
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
I sucked his dick by a creek, how romantic.
Just so u know, "come here buckey" has no effect on ur cat, but "hey fucker you wanna get high or what?" will cause him to run from the other room knocking shit over. We smoked outta the gravity bong, then he went and ate.
Bahahaha I just turned on the fan in front of the elliptical to avoid puking//try to get some baywatch hair going and the guy next to me thanked me because he was "getting nauseas from the smell of stale sweat and tequila"
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