PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Most fantastic sex ever until her Doberman took an interest in what we were doing. There was nothing more terrifying then feeling warm dog breath on my ballsack.
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
even the AIR tastes like tequila.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
Just woke up beside some twink in a kilt.. how is your sunday going
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