but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
The straight man in me wants to hit on her. But the gay man in me wants to compliment her on her awesome outfit.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The only thing in that hotel room that we didn't fuck on was the roof
Some advice...don't play drunk rock em sock em robots. With actual people. I have bruises EVERYWHERE.
I think it's safe to say I'm rolling my hypothetical balls off
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
Guy just came in wearing only shorts, on his hand was written - my name is ... Call ... And tell them where i am, thanx - in permanent marker, ordered his favorite dish, and left w/out touching it. It's snowing outside.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
You, me, naked, mistletoe, fifth of jack, gallon of lube, condoms, Cheetos, handcuffs, rope, along with no morals, inhibition or judgment. That's all I want for Christmas.
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
Well, I woke up on a roll-away, with a knot in the back of my head and penis confetti stuck to me. Also, I apparently literally gave the shirt off my back right before I passed out, so I was topless. Vegas won this trip.
Sex while Star Warsing is the best
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
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