I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
i didn't realize we were even dating until i ran out of weed
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
You need to stop thinking about the needs of your vagina and concentrate on the greater good
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
we watched a porno and made a drinking game out of it. best first date ever.
I've just had my first cup of coffee in a month and I moaned at the first drink and honestly I think this is the most sexual expreiance in 6 months
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
Somehow I woke up next to the bouncer who kicked us out of the bar last night...
Randomize
