I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
I figured it out. hungover me hates drunk me, drunk me hates sober me, and sober me hates being sober. so yes, were blacking out tonight.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I'm still not completely convinced I'm not pregnant. I just dipped beef jerky in cream cheese frosting.
I miss college girls! You know how depressing it is to fuck 30 year olds? That's what failure feels like
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
If I get aids I am starting a lawsuit against snapchat.
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
i took four shots of tequila, threw my fist up in the air, then went around the party showing everyone how to do the ninja turtle handshake. that's the last thing I remember
True strength comes from lack of pants
found a thong and $20 in my right pocket. it's going to be a good day
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
I apparently sent an offer letter to, and then subsequently onboarded, the wrong candidate. How's your Monday?
Randomize
