We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Sex has been so nonexistent lately that when I was masturbating the other day, I actually paused to yawn.
He made me pinky-promise that he gave me an orgasm.
well what she called a "work function" most people call "doing shots with your boss while people throw napkins at you."
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
We left your bucket of puke on your doorstep to clean out yourself. You're welcome.
Your friend who drunkenly cleaned the kitchen just wished the class a Happy National Tutu Day. While wearing a tutu. Make a move or I'm gonna marry her.
Hahahaha who is sleeping in the garage on our beer pong table?
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
Moonshine marathon is never a good idea
The joke is on me because whale penis is forever in my search history.
Worth it.
I don't know what song to play at my bong's funeral!
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
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