my mom just asked me what a queef is. she needs to stop watching south park
His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
well, it ended with me crying outside the strip club saying i don't want to be 21 anymoree. i'd say it was a great 21st birthday.
yeah he couldn't walk in a straight line and started throwing up and told the cop he just has an astigmatism
he passed out at 11 at a party. he deserved to be stripped down an duct taped to the floor
Taco trucks are like ice cream trucks for drunk adults. They should have a mariachi tune they play super loud to bring people out of the bars for tacos.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
My crotch smells like fire and I can't find my pants
I just want to get drunk and not have to worry about you leaving me at the bar.
He told his wife he was too old to pretend to be straight. She tried to argue. He walked two tables over and was like this is my highschool sweetheart and he's an excellent fuck, we're running away together. It was epic.
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