You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
I've never seen so many strippers at a funeral...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
It's the eternal vodka... it never seems to go away
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
You don't want any of I have. Seriously. Its 80 proof rum that was 8 bucks for a liter. I'm afraid
I'm sure your liver is writing out a will as we speak
Sorry I didn't answer your call last night, I was peeing on the driveway.
I'm drunk, laying in bed, eating macaroni salad. I dropped a piece and tried to pick it up with a fork. My cleavage is bleeding and I haven't been laid yet. Heeeyyyy!!!
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
Had the best sex Thursday night then Friday night I met his girlfriend. The worst thing is we became friends like she gave me her number.
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
i refuse to sex anyone who doesn't get my lord of the rings references. no exceptions.
I hooked up with a guy named Quan.. I literally hit the Quan
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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