the last time I saw her she was leaving the mens bathroom and club rush with her dress inside out. typical tease.
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
no, i'm proud of you. this is the happiest you've been since you discovered that bowls can be used as cups if you don't feel like washing dishes.
i just saw someone i know on True Life. i need new friends.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
fuck you guys, stop putting fake babies in my car the cops came again.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
You took a bar mat shot.
no i had to finish in the bathroom to a pic of her mom in a bikini.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's bought his dick a cell phone. A cell phone. For his dick...
He gave me the number and told me that I if I want to hook up again, I have to call his penis.
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Your next boyfriend should be from MENSA...you're so smart, it's intimidating as fuck. My penis retracted in fear.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize