So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
this year's halloween challenge: make audrey hepburn go from classy to slutty drunk
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
His car is rigged up like the cash cab how am i supposed to not sleep with him
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
Did you fuck him in my garden last night?
That WOULD explain the dirt in my vagina
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
Randomize
