you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
Somebody spraypainted a transformers head on a transformer box..my life is complete
He was banging holes in the kitchen wall with pots. They tried to pull him away but only managed to pants him. He kept "drumming".
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
i'll fuck you during the next apocalypse. promise
I just had a great idea for an etsy shop. Sell all the shit bitches leave from one nighters
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
What's the best way to tell a guy he can call me when his impending divorce is finalized?
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
Adderall went through the wash. Took it anyway. Wish me luck.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
Just do what I do and listen to your vagina. She’ll growl when she smells good dick
Randomize
