Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You kept telling me how warm your bag of vomit was and asked me if i wanted to feel.
Well, practice makes perfect. Let's start playing Eye of the Tiger and do a blowjob training montage.
Her fucking playlist had randy newman on it. It was like woody was watching the whole time.
and now i get to think about how i fulfill a gay man's harry potter fantasy. thanks for that
You kept mumbling that you could become one with the carpet as you proceeded to give yourself the worst carpet burn I have ever seen
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
If my birthday doesn't end with my panties hanging from a ceiling fan, I'm holding you responsible.
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Randomize
