Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
he chased her out of the bar yelling "TAKE MY VIRGINITY" and i havent seen her since
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
What did you wear last night? Because I'm pretty sure there are atleast 4 Facebook statuses about your walk of shame.
shes 19, drunk and said she has no gag reflex. im trying to decide if i have scruples
you dont
i dont
im like basted in vodka, i went tanning and it was like i was an alcoholic turkey being cooked in a locker of doom
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
I keep looking at his nude pics and crying because ill never see it in person again.
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Is it weird to wish your favorite hooker "happy thanksgiving"?
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
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