ok think of it like jelly beans. if you can learn to like the licorice ones, youll always have lots of them because no one else wants them. its the same with fat chicks
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
I wish my mouth had a period so that could be my excuse on those days I don't feel like giving head
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
what am i going to do when LOST is over? What am i going to get high to?
every time I see Anne Hathaway all I can think is "my cousin fucked a guy who fucked her" and it makes me proud.... so I want to say thank you for being that cousin.
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Yah, I guess one silver lining is I'd never seen a full water cooler get thrown down a flight of stairs, gotta appreciate the little things
He told me I was the only person he wanted to fuck in his rental mini van. Thats so romantic for a fuck buddy relationship.
I spilled beer everywhere which led to an oil fire and me melting a spatula again. And then I was late to class so I explained what happened to the teacher.
Im sorry i offered the man at mcdonalds your hand in marriage in exchange for some french fries
She said she had a surprise for me and sent me a video of her having sex with some fat dude. It was a mood killer
Dude I should have just gone home with the guy with dreads and the cat
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