just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
is it gross that my labia hangs so much that guys can't find my clit?
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
It's like my butt was the only innocence I had left and now I don't even have that.
My mom just saw the bruise on my chest from the bite mark he left. Played it off that I hit myself w a box of beauty products. She believed me. God I love working retail sometimes.
Won't anyone wonder why I'm mute, bald, and wearing an eye patch?
I woke up to her screaming at the various pictures of nutsacks she found on her camera
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Every bathroom has like throw up and like bagels in it. Richie didn't even have bagels.
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
I'm with the cops, Trish's gay husband stabbed himself and is framing her for attempt of murder and I'm dressed 4 the club I'm wearing leather pants leather jacket leather boots and black club top. Embarrassed
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