I got "discovered a new religion high" last night
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
We just licked a sour creme and onion chip for salt for a tequila shot. Our vacation has officially begun.
He puked at the bar then immediately procceded to slip in it, they loaded him up into a wheelchair, then the staff and myself walked him outside, all the while never having to pay for our tab. SO using this strategy again
I woke up to her staring at me in a corner moaning over and over again about how good the pie crust tasted
Jenna, I'm going to use all my homosexual powers to steal him from you
Austin, I will climb on top of your shoulders and slowly suffocate you with my vagina
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
We were wearing togas. So having sex was really easy to do without taking any clothes off.
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Her car is covered in frozen vomit, and she lost her iPhone. I'm also pretty sure I smoked crack last night. Rest in peace 2014.
I just kept hitting the drum to get thru the crowd to the bar. Surprisingly it worked
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Randomize
