My brain says no but my pants say off.
I just punched cris angel in the balls. I have photos.
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
All i know if I'm throwing uo into a bag with a smiley facE on it right now and this is not a smileuy face time right nowe
The last time I saw you, you were rolling around on the ground at the bar.....
.....well it was bound to be an interesting night since I was chasing my pulls with pulls....
took over 12 bombs tonight and we still aren't hooking up. Wait how am I functioning
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
What's an appropriate engagement gift for the girl that's marrying your brother's Tuesday night hookup? Cause all I can think of is vodka and Kleenex.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I need to stop getting so drunk at bowling
Hard not to be concerned when you call me, tell me you've discovered the secret to flying, vomit, then hang up the phone. So yes, I'm coming to pick you up.
The wedding is over. Operation sleep with my step-sister has officially begun
Randomize
